Rage is defined as violent, uncontrollable anger. When I read this definition and I saw the word violent I visualized physical harm, blood shed, serious damage being done. When I read uncontrollable, I visualized the person who experiences the rage blacking out and not having any control over their actions with flailing arms, hurtful words being spewed, objects flying and again the possibility of serious damage being done.
But I know rage isn't always violent or uncontrollable...it's not always displayed in violent ways towards others...but rage definitely is a very powerful, intense emotion...thus it is a powerful and intense energy and that energy needs to go somewhere and if it's not being expressed outwardly, it's likely it's being locked up inside of the body, held in an organ possibly. Louise Hay's book "How to Heal your life/body" comes to mind immediately as I get curious about how the body traps the emotion RAGE!
I feel a rise in rage among women on the planet right now. As Donald Trump was just inaugurated as the President of the United States and thousands upon thousands of women marched in solidarity the day after it is evident that women are rising...awakening...letting all the feelings surface. With the injustices we are seeing in media and in our own day-to-day happenings, how can we not experience anger? The scale tips to rage when we feel helpless, or gagged, or our 'hands are tied', we feel like we have lost control of making choices for ourselves, for acting and behaving in a way that works for us, feeling forced to do things we don't want to do, doing things that don't feel right or knowing it can be done differently, that there is a better way, when we feel like we don't have a voice or we are being truly HEARD!!! Raaaahhhhhrrrrrr, we tip into a territory of RAAAAGGGGEEE!
But it can be so quiet and hushed all at the same time. If you look and listen really closely you will see it in a women who has lived with her alcoholic and abusive husband for years...seeing the potential in him to be an amazing man, the potential for them to be an amazing couple together, to be good parents together...but he remains in denial, refuses her love and affection, wants to continue with his selfish and unhealthy ways of living...until one day he brings home flowers, says sorry and tells her he really wants to change...and then she gets a little taste of hope...oh my she hopes so hard it makes her dizzy until...a few days later it all starts again and a few weeks later the hope fades and a few months goes by and she feels helpless yet again. Nothing she says, does, or tries will change him, so even if she wants her family together and her kids to be with their Dad and experience the love they both have...she is helpless, she may as well have a muzzle on, she sounds like a broken record because NO ONE HEARS HER! And rage is what she feels when her little boy looks at her with sadness, anger and disappointment because he now thinks she’s the one that has broken up their family because ‘Daddy still loves Mommy’ but “Mommy can’t forgive Daddy’. The violent and uncontrollable rage looks like a burning stomach, headaches, depression, anxiety, tears and more tears, yelling at her kids, fatigue, painful and aching body, considering suicide, and maybe eventually she hits him in a fit of rage, in her moment of feeling so helpless, fed up, with no where else to turn and no one there who can fix it all for her...she RAGES!!!
You can see it in the eyes of a black mother as she watches her teenage son storm out of the house when she tries to ground him after finding drugs in his pocket. She had hopes for him, she tried so hard to keep them in a safe and good neighbourhood, working to provide as best she could for the both of them. Blessed with so much but sadly now she feels herself losing her grip...she can't control him, he just walks out anyways...and he's big enough to push her aside now. She fears for his safety, for his life!
Then one day he comes home crying and telling her he is sorry that he wants to do good in life and be a good kid. They work together to get him straightened out...her passion and her anger of how many teens are lost to drugs, gangs and violence fuel her to do everything she can for him...to then one day being surprised with a knock at the door...
He's gone…he GONE... because he was mistaken for another black teenager that 'looked' like him even though he TOLD the police he wasn’t the guy they were looking for...NOOOOO, the tipping point into RAGE ensues with fitful tears, her knees buckling and her falling to the floor. The rage looks like her kicking her feet on the floor and bruising herself, then she vomits because her body can't contain the feeling anymore. In the days and months to come the rage looks like depression and grief and excessive alcohol use. No one can bring him back...so many blacks are being killed and even when she protests now and yells out BLACK LIVES MATTER she doesn't feel heard.
Rage isn't always violent, nor is it always uncontrollable. When you face this emotion you make a choice…to persevere and keep trying to change the situation at hand, you jump through hoops and over obstacles, your determination keeps you there because DAMN IT you see potential…OR…you give up, you walk away, you try not to care so much and try to drown out the grief, the loss, sadness and anger. Most do a dance between these two choices, trying to persevere for a period of time, then give up and then attempt to try and fix or change the situation and then back to helplessness again. It’s FUCKING exhausting!!! Majority of women have suppressed and kept their rage quiet and I really wonder how we have contained it for so long but now...now so many are waking up, rage is being expressed and it's a good thing. Anger and rage are powerful and passionate fuels to help us take back our power, take a stand and express how sick and tired we are of being gagged, of being mistreated, of having our wings clipped and our hopes and dreams being stomped on.
So RAGE on sisters, rage on responsibly, rage with integrity, honesty - brutal fucking honesty, rage with transparency, rage with respect, rage on in a whatever fucking way you want...and let's learn how to express rage and hold space for rage and not get so uncomfortable with it that we avoid it or walk away from a sister who needs to rage so desperately her health and wellbeing rely on it! Then let's continue to make some amazing waves and create the change we can see...and bring to life the potential we see for ourselves, our children, the earth, our communities, our countries...we sisters are the keepers of visions that can bring this potential to life because we can FEEEEEL it!
Sharing this amazing song that encompasses where we are at at this time in history...I Can't Keep Quiet...and we all need to know that if we have felt gagged or unheard that maybe we just needed to try another ear and find someone who understands and acknowledges us!
As I navigate my own journey on the earth and help many others on their journeys I have many ideas and thoughts that I don't feel good keeping to myself. So here are my deep thoughts, hopefully you enjoy them and maybe they can help.